If it’s shaped like banana bread, and it smells like banana bread, but looks nothing like banana bread, is it banana bread? That is the question.

Banana bread is one of those. You know what I mean. Everybody and their granny can make it with their eyes closed, yet when I try, things just don’t happen the way they should. My first loaf was half-raw, my second was a brick. Third time was not a charm, I brought a bag of bananas to Hobby Victim’s house, and I don’t remember what happened but we didn’t end up making banana bread. The bag of ripe bananas lay forgotten on the counter, until her daughter discovered a putrid mystery mess. (I am still embarrassed.)

My failure to make a perfect tea bread came up with Best Friend the other week.

“I’m making banana bread soon, hopefully. My banana loaf never work out.”

“Any loaf you make never works out.”

“Touché!”

Okay, I thought. Obviously my attempts to re-create family recipes isn’t working, so what do the pros do? I found this recipe in KitchenAid 3 cookbooks in 1: pies & tarts, cakes & cupcakes; breads which is available on Amazon.com and while it seemed pretty straight forward, I’m still not sure I have real banana bread.

Time required: 2 hours

Yields: 8-10

Total cost if you have none of the ingredients: $30.00

Cost per slice: $3.00

Kitchen implements I used:

• Nemo the KitchenAid
• flour sifter
• metal loaf pan
• tinfoil

You may be wondering why there are no bananas in this picture. Well. They uh… seemed over-ripe, almost to the point of “Should these be tossed out or are they still okay?” and I decided they looked too scary for the shot.

Ingredients:

• 6 TBSP unsalted butter, softened
• ⅓ C brown sugar, packed
• ⅓ C granulated white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 3-4 bananas, ripe
• ½ TSP vanilla
• 1½ C flour
• 2½ TSP baking powder
• ¼ TSP salt

Instructions:

1. Pre-heat oven to 176°C / 350°F. Line pan with tinfoil and grease.

2. Cream butter and sugars in mixer until light and fluffy.

3. Add eggs one at a time, then add bananas and vanilla. You’re supposed to mash the bananas first, but uh… mine had reached the point of cellular degeneration where mashing was no longer required.

4. In a bowl sift flour, baking powder, and salt.

5. Add gradually to wet mix and mix until just combined.

6. Spoon batter in pan and bake 50 min.

7. Remove from pan and set on wire rack, cool in pan for 1 hour. Toothpick test indicated doneness.

8. Remove foil and slice.

Hmm. Is this normal?

Verdict:

“Do you think it’s done?”

“I don’t know. Let’s eat some.”

“Why is it so light? It’s supposed to be dark brown… ”

“It tastes good, that’s all I care about.”

Playlist: The Servant – Cells